What you do…

“What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.” –

Ralph Waldo Emerson

The above quote was one that I heard many years ago and has stayed with me.

What does it mean?  To me, it’s about integrity.  About having it, or the lack of it.  Integrity is the quality of having words and actions that back each other, that you’re “walking your talk”, doing as and what you say you’ll do.  Your actions correspond with your word and vice-versa.

Over the years, it’s come to make more and more sense to me.  There was a time, when I’d listen to partners, friends, relatives, telling me that they’d do something or be somewhere and I had inkling, from previous experiences with them, that they wouldn’t.

Of course, they’d let me down, arrive late etc.  Back then, I wouldn’t say anything, I’d either ignore my “gut feeling” or if I did raise the issue with them and they told me, hand on heart, that they wouldn’t let me down, etc, I’d back down.

Often though, when they did let me down, or not do as they said, I’d get annoyed with myself, for trusting them.  For putting their words, before my own experiences, what I’d seen with my own eyes and heard with my own ears.

After years of “beating myself up”, feeling sad and angry with everyone and concluding that I couldn’t trust anyone to do what they said they would, I chose a different tack.

I started to look at my own integrity.  I looked at where I was truthful and lying to myself about my own life.  I took a personal inventory or my own personality, skills set and behaviour to get clearer about who I was.

What I found was the more “in tune” and honest I was with myself about who and how I was, truth and lies, the easier I found it to perceive other peoples levels of integrity.

What has this done for me?

It’s meant that when relating to others, I can be more direct and honest.  I don’t have to lie to myself and pretend that they’re going to do what they say they will, even though I know they won’t.  I can factor this in and make arrangements that are truer to what they actually will do, or I simply ask someone else instead.

Over the years, the more I’ve refused to collude with another’s pretence about their behaviour, the more it’s helped me live my life greater and greater integrity.

It’s now easier for me to say what I will do, and do it, as well as say what I won’t do and don’t do it.  It’s meant that not only can I commit more “whole heartedly” to the things I wish to be involved in, it’s also meant that I’m more reliable and “true to my word”, and that for myself, I’m more at peace within myself and my relationships.


Prosperity X




Published in: on November 23, 2009 at 6:53 am  Leave a Comment  
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Red Poppy. What’s it got to do with me?

.Awarded the Victoria Cross, Britain’s highest award for bravery

Private Johnson Gideon Beharry, awarded the Victoria Cross, Britain’s highest award for bravery

As a child and adult on Remembrance Day, I’ve always been told or encouraged to “Wear a poppy to remember what those, who died and fought for our freedom gave and sacrificed”.    This, like a mantra, each November, was repeated over and over and I never really understood or could connect the images that were displayed on the television, through war films and comedy series, on billboard posters or books in the school’s World War History lesson, of “someone else’s story”.  A story which I felt excluded from.

In the late 1990’s I became an avid visitor to the local library.  To me it became a treasure of information and my library card became my most valued possession!  It was here that I came across a book which was to provide the pictures, connection, answers and information for me in order to hold “Remembrance day” as something that is part of mine, my grandparents and future generation’s story.   This book was/is called, “We were there”.  A publication based on the Ministry of Defences exhibition of the same name.

So, it is with great reverence and respect, that I include the link to the following website for your own exploration:

“We Were There” Exhibition

Prosperity X

Published in: on November 8, 2009 at 7:59 am  Comments (2)  
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